Things I Wish Somebody Told Me Ten Years Ago

1.      Babies grow up.  Okay, I admit I did know this one in a general sense.  I do grasp where babies and grown ups come from.  But what I didn’t get is that babies…my babies specifically… will grow up and they will it quickly.  Some days this thought is a warning… a reminder to step away from the computer, put down the phone, leave all your distractions behind and just snuggle and hug those little bodies because they won’t be little for long. 

 

        Some days this is mantra that gets me through the latest chaos.  (This too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass.)  For better or worst each stage has an expiration date.  I didn’t get this at all when I was home alone with my first baby going slightly crazy.  I thought I would ALWAYS be home alone with a baby in a phase where the few conversations I had with friends usually involved poop and breast milk.  That same baby is now happily in kindergarten.  In full day kindergarten.  I’ve been informed that I can still kiss him good-bye, but that it’s best to do it before we leave the house.  I now understand that those cheerful days of good-bye kisses and hugs in front of friends are limited and sacred.  My littlest one started preschool this year and I know my lazy mornings at the park are limited…and I enjoy them all the more with that knowledge.

2.      Working or staying home doesn’t have to be a black and white issue or a forever decision.  I was one of those women who tied herself up in knots righting to figure out the “right” thing to do.  I wasted HOURS of my life worrying this topic to death. Despite all the ramped up reports of a mommy war, turns out there is middle ground.  I know that I’m lucky the option, but working part time is pretty awesome in my book.  I think that I have finally found a balance that works for me.  The kiddos are getting a bit older and I’m working a little more now and I really enjoy it.  Summer are still a little tricky, but I have faith that we’ll work it out.  I didn’t used to have that faith.  For the first time, I don’t know what the future might hold and I’m okay with it.

3.      Choosing a kind, happy partner is far, far more important than choosing a hot partner.  I’ll be celebrating a 9 year anniversary in a few months and I think these years married have taught me a few things.  I happen to think my husband is pretty hot, but it’s his kindness that really gets me.  At this point there is very little sexier than him saying he’ll get the kids while I sleep in.  (I try to return the favor by not talking too much during the Steeler game.)

4.       Okay…I might be out of clever paragraphs here.  I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel good…better than I’ve felt in years.  I feel like we have survived the intensity of the baby years.  We should have no diapers or cribs in our house with six months (fingers crossed on the diapers…).  I don’t exactly feel like the me I was before I had babies, but I do feel like me.  A grown up, possibility slightly wiser me.  So far, I like my 30s.  I’m looking forward to seeing what else in store. 

(No comments about the “awesomeness” of the teen years please.  I’m not ready to face those facts yet.)

The Kids Only Party

I was just very cordially disinvited to the “kid party” going on upstairs. 

My son very politely, but firmly asked me to leave my daughter’s room so that they could have a party…without me. 

I was suspicious about his motives, especially after he reassured that “they weren’t going to do anything bad" and suggested that I "go have fun by myself.” 

But I decided to play along and see what happened.  Needless to say, I may have left the room, but I’m keeping both ears wide open. 

So far, they just both singing loudly to a CD and dancing together.   It's been almost 20 minutes.

This is wonderful. 

But this is also a bit awful…so much fun being had without me. 

I’m very glad my kiddos get along pretty well (at least 80% of the time), but I wasn’t quite ready to be dethroned already. 

Guess I should go finish up dinner and fold the laundry. 

Or… I could listen to my son and find something fun to do (within ear shot of course.)  Maybe I will even find more time to blog if my kids continue spending time in their rooms without me!  

I think once I get used to this turn of events, I just might just like it! 

Have a great day!

The Years Are Too Short

That old saying the days are long, but the years are short is ringing very true with me these days. 

There are days where I'm counting the hours until bedtime and it feels like time is moving in reverse, but time must be passing because we're reaching milestones at warp speed.

I am now the mostly proud mother of a five year old boy.  We attended kindergarten orientation this week. He's excited and I think he's ready, but I'm not so sure I am...

My little one seems to be growing more every day.  She is now talking in paragraphs and experimenting with the joys of bossing everyone around and throwing herself dramatically on the floor.  There is no longer a baby in my house.

Next year she will start preschool two mornings a week and my big boy will be off to full day elementary school.  Times are certainly changing around these parts.

I have spent these past five years in a haze of mothering.  There are times when I felt buried under the weight of caring for little people full time, but the surprising truth is I'm also going to miss it...at least it surprised me.  I am certainly looking forward to having more time and energy for my own pursuits - personal and work related - but the whole process is very bittersweet.

I think I finally really understand that my babies will grow into teenagers and eventually adults.  My job is to make myself redundant.  I know I have time before they're off to college, but I suspect that day will be here before I know it.

Everything is as it should be, but sometimes I just want to push the pause button and hold tight to them while they are still little enough to both fit on my lap. 

Quick Update

Thank you all for your comments and concerns about my sick little one.

Just wanted to let you all that Audrey is doing much better.  She's still a super fuss, but her fever has come down and she's sleeping much better and started eating and drinking a bit.  She does have a slight fever, but it's nothing like it was last week.

I think we are still a few days from a fully healthy little girl, but it looks like we're past the scary stuff.

And...so far her brother has not caught whatever Audrey had.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he escaped it.

Now I'm off to enjoy a relatively boring weekend...

Sick...

Dear Blog,

I started this month with the best intentions.  I had high hopes to rekindle the passion we once shared.  But life happened.  I haven't been working too many hours and I haven't been decluttering like a monkey with an untreated case of OCD.  Instead, this has been the month of sick children. Not a good time for anybody.

For the most part, the sick has been the kind where the kiddos need to be kept home to prevent spreading the germs, but not really worrisome.  Low fevers, coughs, runny noses...the normal stuff of childhood.  It's a lonely, grumpy time, but not really anything to stress about.

But now my little girl is sick, sick.  The kind where you call the doctor in a slight panic and you don't think you're day will include a trip to the ER, but you're not quite sure.  Audrey has been running a high fever...scary high.  Yesterday at the doctor's the ear thermometer read 105.  One hundred and five!  After I said a few unladylike words, the doctor tried to reassure me that ear thermometers aren't linear after 103, meaning that they aren't really accurate in that range.  But that still means we were in the 103 plus range, which isn't any where I want to visit.

Medicine is helping, but she's still running a mild fever with it and spikes high again when each dose is due.  I'm sitting on the edge of my seat right now and it's not a fun ride.

I was given marching orders to take her back to the doctor tomorrow if she's still running a high temp and it's starting to look like that is going to the case.  Hopefully, nothing too exciting happens in the next few days.  I'd really like a nice boring weekend with no news to report.

I do have to say that the month of sick has given me an appreciation for the fact that my kids are generally healthy.  We are more the type to hurt ourselves than get ill. I have a new sympathy for the families that have to deal with the chronic ear infections and constant sick visits.  We usually only visit the doctor a couple of times a year at most and there have been years with no sick visits at all.  I'm not sure what it says about me that I didn't appreciate their good health until it's gone, but I certainly didn't until recently.  

So my beloved blog and bloggy friends, I really do mean to visit more often.  I've just needed in the mommyhood right now.  When I climb out of the trenches I'll be back. 

Love,

Working It

I went through every article of clothing I owe during the great declutter experiment last month.  Turns out I was once a girl who felt the need to own nine sports bras.  Nine!  Seriously, who owes nine sports bras? 

I'm sure this says something about my unsavory laundry habits last decade, but it also undeniably says something about my lifestyle before children.  Rediscovering my collection of work out gear was a  blunt reminder that I haven't even put on put a sport bra in a couple of years.  I walk quite a bit and I've done the occasional push up or sit up, but I haven't really sweated since my daughter was born.

I've never been a big sports person, but I really did enjoy working out.  During my Navy days, I used  to work out side by side with a lot of men. I worked very hard to not embarrass myself with limited success, but eventually something bizarre happened and I started to enjoy the work outs.  I kept hitting the gym even after nobody was forcing me there.

And frankly, I'm not sure I'm swimming in the deepest gene pool around.  My father had a heart attack and passed away a few months short of his 60th birthday and my mother has Parkinson's.  I would like to do what I can to healthy long enough to enjoy any grand babies that might come along.

So all this is a long winded way of saying I rejoined the gym.  I realize that it might be tough to get there as often as I'd like until my daughter heads off to preschool, but two or three times a week is plenty for now.  At least I'll have some use for all those sports bras!

So far I've been there twice...I hope it starts getting easier soon.

A Future Architect?

My daughter has discovered the wonderful world of legos.  She has spent hours this past week building and rebuilding her towers.  My son has gone through a car stage and a  pretty extreme superhero period, but this is Audrey's first real obsession.

It's the first thing she asked about this morning and the last thing she did last night.  She cried when I made her come to the table for dinner and she is never one to pass up food.

She is pretty serious about the whole endeavor.  Her brother got told off pretty impressively when he knocked a tower over.  She scolded him so badly he rebuilt the whole thing to her detailed specifications.

This is apparently what happens when two engineers procreate.