Mar 30, 2009
So here's goes-
Do you ever wonder why anybody reads your blog at the exact moment that you're plotting on how to expand your readership?
It still amazes me that anybody cares what I write.
Now that I've had a small taste of blog success (55 followers!), I want more.
My name is K and I am a blog addict.
My son has started telling "jokes".
He starts with a string of overly expressive gibberish (complete with elaborate hand gestures) and then says "joke" loudly. I'm guessing that is the punchline because he then starts laughing hysterically.
I have no idea where he got this, but it is cracking me up.
The best is when he tries his humor on a stranger. They have absolutely no idea how to respond.
I'm convinced my computer is plotting against me.
You'd think that daily keyboard massages and ridiculous amounts of attention would keep it happy, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
I keep getting vaguely threatening word verifications like "arch", "enemy" and "cometh".
It has also been picking the most hateful times to crash, like the one hour a week I'm trying to video conference with my boss.
I really get the feeling it secretly hates me.
But it's okay because I'm starting to not so secretly hate my computer.
We've been looking at shiny new laptops so I plan to win the war, even if I lose the occasional battle.
I've discovered that my cat likes to pop bubbles by smashing them between his front two paws like he's clapping (usually while mid-air ninja style). Add in the typical toddler antics and it's the best, cheap entertainment around.
I hope my amusement isn't a warning sign that I'm on the path to becoming a crazy cat lady.
(If my enjoyment of cat bubble popping isn't a bad sign, the fact I felt the need to blog about it probably is. Crap.)
Please visit the queen of the random, The Un-Mom, for more random fun.
Have a great Tuesday folks.
Mar 27, 2009
I knew that President Obama signed an executive order to close Guantanamo Bay detention facility within the next year.
I remember taking a moment to wonder what they were going to do with the people being held there, but I didn't think too hard about it.
Obviously, anywhere they would choose to move the prisoners would be in a remote rural area, far away from my house.
Or maybe not - Security Worries in the Suburbs.
The part I failed to factor in was that some of the prisoners would need to be near a federal courthouse.
There just so happens to be a federal courthouse not too far from my house.
Turns out that some of the prisoners may be moving to the suburbs.
My suburb, specifically.
The 2006 trial of one of the men convicted of conspiring in the 9/11 attacks was held in the federal courthouse in Alexandria, Virginia. According to the article, it "turned the neighborhood into a virtual encampment, with heavily armed agents, rooftop snipers, bomb-sniffing dogs, blocked streets, identification checks and a fleet of television satellite trunks."
If this actually happens, things could get interesting.
Mar 26, 2009
He is rambunctious and happiest when he's filthy.
He loves trucks, trains and balls and he has plenty of all of them.
He does spend some time diapering stuffed animals and putting them down for naps, but he generally devotes his manic toddler energy to typical male pursuits.
I honestly think this is just how he is made. I don't try to direct his play and he has a wide variety of toys.
He just chooses the stereotypically male stuff.
I recently had a conversation with a mom who was extremely passionate (nicest way I could think of to say it) about providing a gender neutral environment.
She refused to give her son typical boy toys until he was 4 and then only gave in because he begged for cars and trucks.
She asked about my son's toys and tried to keep her face neutral while I answered, but failed pretty spectacularly.
Yet another mom thing I never even thought to worry about.
I think I'll just put in the same category as baby sign language and making my own baby food.
There is a long list of stuff I probably should have cared about, but didn't.
Somehow, I think my boy will be just fine.
Mar 25, 2009
I just fell off a treadmill in a packed gym.
I was a bit mesmerized by the eight huge televisions and I must have drifted to one side.
All of the sudden I felt like I was trying to walk on the ceiling.
And I wasn't even running!
In truth, I wasn't even walking all that fast.
Fewer people witnessed my next smooth move, but it was actually more embarrassing.
I was alone in the locker room and that freakin' new Brittney Spears song came on. Apparently, I need to turn on adult music a little more often because I was inspired to dance.
I was rocking out and all of a sudden I realized I wasn't alone anymore.
Sadly, I also realized I wasn't wearing a shirt.
In my attempt to put my clothing on at super human speed, I managed to dump water in a rather unfortunate place on my pants.
So now I'm the crazy naked dancing girl who pees her pants and falls off treadmills.
Who wants to come with me to the gym next time?
Mar 21, 2009
I know I've been bending the rules of Random Tuesday Thoughts a bit lately, but at least I'm keeping it random. (Right?)
My life in general has been a bit random lately. Between reading weird books and old magazines at the car dealership, I've inadvertently stumbled across some quotes that I really enjoyed.
So this week I've sharing a random assortment of other people's thoughts because, frankly, my own thoughts are escaping me at the moment.
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."
-Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
I just really like this perceptive. It makes me feel better about my dirty house and helps me ignore my degrees when they mock me.
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."
Now I just have to find my next adventure...
"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teacher."
I guess some things never change.
"The trouble with the rate race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
- Lily Tomlin
I used to be a bit of a workaholic, but I'm actually really starting to enjoy moving at the pace of a toddler.
And that's all for this week. I hope everybody is having a great week so far.
To visit the rest of the random thought participants, please visit the Un-Mom.
And to be honest, I haven't really thought much about it since. But I just got a comment from the Smithsonian on it!
How cool is that?
Okay, maybe not exactly the Smithsonian....
But I did get a comment from Night Kitchen Interactive on behalf of the American History Museum. (Yes, it's a real company. I checked. I had no idea the Smithsonian hired folks to comment on blogs.)
Basically, the comment asked me to help spread the word on a contest being sponsored by the National Museum of American History and USA WEEKEND.
Well, I love the Smithsonian and I'll happily support them. (Plus I found it a bit flattering to be asked.)
To enter the contest you need to upload a video of yourself singing the national anthem to their YouTube group. The prize is a chance to sing at the American History Museum and a Baltimore Orioles game on Flag Day (June 14). You get paid travel to DC, three nights hotel and $400 in spending money.
Check the details here.
I'll post a link to your YouTube video here if you participate.
Did you know the original flag that inspired the Star Spangled Banner is kept at the American History Museum?
(And one more thing - if you Night Kitchen folks are looking to hire a part time blog stalker, I am totally your girl.)
Mar 20, 2009
Her family is actually in more debt than you'd think by their fancy car and big house.
She couldn't breast feed because she has inverted nipples.
She's not sure whether she'll ever have sex with her husband again. But that might be okay because it was never that spectacular.
In exchange for this information, she learned my son's name and that he is almost two.
This is a phenomenon I like to call Playground Over Sharing.
It always end the same way. Next time I run into her, she'll mutter hi and awkwardly pretend it never happened. It's like a morning after scene in a bad movie.
Somehow, I find myself on the receiving end of over sharing all the time.
Am I the only one?
Mar 19, 2009
I get to pick out a piece of lovely, creative, original art made by Cindy at Art Spectrum.
How is fun is that?
As a bonus, I also learned about a cool website called Etsy.
It's basically an online market for people to buy and sell handmade things.
(You too can own an Art Spectrum painting.)
The variable and quality of items for sale really impressed me (and I'm not exactly Martha Stewart so it wasn't an easy sell.)
Does this mean I have to have a giveaway now?
Mar 17, 2009
All the gloom and doom has really taken the joy out of the newspaper for me lately.
So this week I thought I'd share a random assortment of the most interesting non-depressing articles I've stumbled across.
There is a small silver lining in the cloud of economic doom that has settled over our lives.
We are wasting less stuff- A Trashed Economy Foretold, Intake at Landfills Has Been Falling.
Apparently the amount of trash being added to some landfills had dropped as much as 30%.
Best quote from the article, "The trash man is the first one to know about a recession because we see it first".
Now if only he would warn the rest of us next time.
The National Zoo here in DC has a growing population of big cats that I love to visit.
This article gave some interesting lion facts - Lions Are Just Big Social Butterflies.
According to the article, lions are the most social of all felines.
Also it mentions that lions were once native to North and South America.
Who knew? I sure didn't.
I'm usually not a big fan of the whole beauty pageant/scholarship foundation thing. Something about the high heels and bikini combo just rubs me the wrong way.
But I'm actually pretty impressed by Miss Virginia 2008, Tara Wheeler.
She is raising funds for pediatric cancer research and if she reaches $500,000 she is going to shave her head completely bald. Check it out - Miss Virginia's Good News/Bald News Fundraising Plea.
She was also the starting goalie for the women's ice hockey team at Penn State.
I'm glad somebody gave this girl a crown.
That's it folks.
Please visit The Un-Mom for more random thoughts or to try it for yourself.
I hope everyone has a fabulous St. Patrick's day.
Mar 15, 2009
The best part is the description in the ad, "very high maintenance - some rust".
At least he didn't say "body needs work."
I wonder how much I could get for my husband?
It's probably not enough. The lump sum won't outweigh the benefits of a continuous supply of paychecks, manual labor and martial relations.
And there is life insurance to consider.
I think the woman who made this site, http://www.myhusbandneedsajob.com/, had the right idea. Just market the job skills, not the entire person.
(She is actually a friend of a friend so on the off chance you know somebody looking to hire a Georgetown educated MBA please pass the link along.)
Mar 13, 2009
It just dawned on me that there is a reasonable chance that I will BE a mother in law at some point in the future.
I assume I'll be joining the proud ranks of the crazy MIL brigade.
Partly because...well...because I'm me.
But also because my son's taste in women is suspect at this point.
The other day he was watching an episode of Sesame Street featuring Fran "The Nanny" Drescher.
Every time she started to talk he would literally fall on the fall laughing.
He then pointed at the TV and said "pretty".
I'm not sure crazy is going to be a strong enough word.
Mar 8, 2009
That might not sound like much, but I think it's all a matter of perspective.
First, you need to consider the fact that we were pretty young and dumb when we got married.
Five years is probably more than some people were betting on when a 24 and 25 year eloped to Jamaica.
We knew each other less than a year and a half before tying the knot. This is by far the most impulsive, crazy thing I have ever done.
(I think I've mentioned before that I am a day planner loving, list making kind of girl. I don't usually do impulsive in any form so this counts as crazy in my world.)
Second, you need to choose your comparisons carefully. For example, my grandparents might not be impressed by five years, but compared to Hollywood couples we're matrimony super stars.
Check out these celebratory statistics-Drew Barrymore's history includes two short marriages. Her first marriage to Jeremy Thomas lasted 30 days and her second to Tom Green lasted 5 months. At least she improved 500% with the second attempt.
Elizabeth Taylor has been married eight times to seven different men. Enough said about that one.
Jennifer Lopez has two short marriages to her credit. She was married for 8 months to Cris Juddwed and for 13 months to Ojani Noa. That doesn't even count the whole weird Bennifer thing and the current union. I'm willing to wager that she is bit high maintenance.
Shannen Doherty also has had two brief marriages. She was married for 5 months to Ashley Hamiltonwed and to Rich Salomon for 9 months. She scares me a little bit. Am I the only one?
Five years sounds pretty impressive right now doesn't it?
(Happy Anniversary Husband. I'd marry you again in a heartbeat.)
My in laws visited this past weekend.
It doesn't matter if it's my family or my husband's, company bring out the worst in me.
I know all the hiccups are just silly little things, but somehow that knowledge doesn't translate into reasonable behavior.
I'm sure my son will recover from one or two abbreviated naps so why does it seem like such a big deal when he gets woke up?
And does it really matter that my MIL brings her own box of shredded wheat?
Admitting you have a problem is the first step right?
Despite my recent brush with lame credit card fraud, my identity appears to be safe.
The whole mess has been cleaned up and I have a functioning credit card once again.
I really was lucky because this kind of stuff can get ugly fast.
In case you don't know and you live in the US, you have the right to a free credit report annually. It's fast and pretty painless. Do yourself a favor and check your credit if you haven't recently- click here.
Does it count as bribery if it's something you want them to do anyway?
I'm not sure why or even how it developed, but my son will do just about anything if I let him wash his hands afterwards.
Teeth brushing and taking baths are also favorite pastimes.
Is it a bad thing if I use this to my advantage?
He likes to get dirty as much as he likes to get clean so hopefully these aren't warnings signs of impeding OCD issues.
My son said "I love you" for the first time this weekend. I know he's just repeating what I say right now, but it still melted my heart. It's still a big ol' pile of mommy mush.
Have a great Tuesday folks.
For more random thoughts, please visit the mastermind behind it all - The Un-Mom.
Apparently, the main difference is that tamed animals will revert back to their natural behavior in the wild and that domesticated animals would not.
I took this to mean that tamed animals stand a chance of surviving while domesticated ones would quickly be dinner.
The show gave a pet parrot as an example of a tame animal, while my fat declawed house cats would be completely domesticated.
(And no, I don't remember the name of the show and I don't have any references so you'll just have to take my word for it this time.)
I had always thought tame and domesticated were interchangeable terms.
I remember swearing I would never be tamed after reading "The Taming of a Shrew" back in high school.
And I'm still not a big fan of the play, but maybe there are worse things than being tame.
I am certainly a bit milder than I was when I was younger. I'm sure I'm also easier to live with these days.
It wasn't that long ago that I would have laughed if you asked me if I wanted to stay home with kids.
And I honestly love my relatively tame life.
That said, I don't ever want to lose my claws and the ability to survive in the wild.
Mar 4, 2009
I did sport my tight jeans and padded bra, but nobody even seemed to notice. I think they were paying too much attention to my son.
He must have deemed my plan of attack inadequate because he launched an offensive of his own...Operation Conquer by Cuteness.
In the parking lot, we ran into another mom from the class chasing her kid and screaming frantically at him to stop.
My son smiled sweetly at her and grabbed my hand like a perfect pint sized gentlemen.
Other mom - "Does he always hold your hand like that?"
Me - "Most of the time. We've been working on it." (This is a total lie. I am working on it in theory, but he generally ends up thrown over my shoulder like a loud, unwilling sack of potatoes.)
Once we made it into the room, my son keep up the super cute routine.
Around us, there was complete toddler chaos occurring. The other kids were having the exact opposite day of my son. (ALL of them.)
Other mom-"Does he always share so nicely?"
Me - "Most of the time. We've been working on it." (Also a total lie. My little man tends to use the word "share" as a warning cry that means he is about to forcefully steal something from somebody.)
As fun as lying to the other moms was, it wasn't actually the best part of class.
The bad toddler behavior escalated until a fight broke out between two boys. (Don't worry nobody was actually hurt, just some minor hitting).
The pair just happened to belong to the two leaders of the mean mom pack.
Guess how that turned out.
I should have known if I just waited it out they would turn on each other.
Apparently, there is a company offering an at-home test to determine if your offspring has the genetic make up to excel at sports.
You just swab your kid’s cheek and send it off to the lab for evaluation.
My favorite line in the article is a quote from a mom who paid $150 for her daughter to be tested-
“She’s a mix...If she came back all endurance, we’d probably focus more on the long-distance type things. Likewise, if she was all strength, we would direct her toward power sports. This will let her try all sorts of things.”
Does that mean you would limit her choices if her DNA wasn't a mix?
What would you do if she wanted to try cross country and her DNA suggested she would be better at a power sport? Tell her no? Tell her she can try, but might not be good at it?
By the way, she's talking about a 13 months old.
I think that mom is really overestimating how much control she will have over her daughter's life.
There is so much more to the success equation than inborn ability, whether it's brains or brawn.
Mar 3, 2009
And we're off...
March roared into the DC area yesterday.
I was treated to the sight of my idiot cat chasing snow flakes through the window and the neighbor lady cross country skiing down the sidewalk. (And no, there really wasn't THAT much snow.)
I'm so ready for spring.
I have a raging case of cabin fever and my energetic toddler issues are also flaring up again.
My son is starting to talk a lot.
He doesn't use many phrases yet, but he knows a lot of words. He still has a tendency to drop a syllable now and then.
In his world, crackers are "crack" and buttons are "butts".
This amuses me more than it should.
I've been bitten by the spring cleaning bug. During the past few days, I've gone through every article of clothing I own and organized my jewelry boxes.
Better than shopping!
It's a little alarming how many treasures I've rediscovered.
That's it folks.
I hope you all have a fantastic Tuesday.
If you feel the need for more randomness, please visit the queen of Random Tuesday, The Un-Mom.