In Which I Try To Be A Good Blog Friend

Until two weeks ago, I had only gotten 3 awards in my entire blog life and I was only tagged a few times to do a meme.

So I haven't really figured the best way for me to play all these bloggy games.

But there has been a recent explosion of awards in the corners of the blogosphere where I hang out.

Here's what I've got so far -I promise I will always say thank you and return the link love in a post, but please don't be offended if I don't do every meme or pass on every award.

I just have too many blog ideas running wild in my brain and too little time to force them into a post.

So here goes my attempt to be a good blog friend...

Mikki at Here's What Let's Do gave me the "Friends" blogger award.

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

(Thanks. I'm not sure any of it is true, but it's a nice thought.)

Frankly, selecting eight blogs is a little more than I can handle so I'm going to go with two.

I'd like to pass this award on to: My Rambling Thoughts and Sprite's Keeper

Next up-

You Have To Be A Comedy Goddess To Endure gave me the Lovely Blog Award.

( Thank you. I think you're lovely too.)

I'd like to pass it along to: I Thought My Life Would Be Different and It's a Dog's Life.

And last, but not least.

Someday I'll get There tagged me to list 6 unimportant things that make me happy.

I think the entire content of my blog is pretty much unimportant things that make me happy so I will refrain from adding more at this point to an already over long post.

(Thank you. I always love when other bloggers think of me.)

Well that's it folks it for now.

Blog on.

Pirates in the News

I'm burned out from hearing about the economic meltdown.

I'm already sick of hearing about the swine flu.

But I kind of dig the news stories about pirates.

Before you post hate comments, let me clear about one thing. I understand this topic is a deadly serious problem that isn't really funny.

That said, I'm still really enjoyed reading all the recent stories of thwarted pirates attacks.

For example, check out this story - Cruise Ship Hero fought Off Pirates with a Deck Chair

A passenger saw armed pirates in a speed boat trying to climb onto a cruise ship.

So he throws a chair at them, buying enough time that the cruise ship maneuvered safely away.

And who is this he-man cruise ship saver?

A retired engineer celebrating his 62 birthday with a cruise.

How could you not enjoy that story?

I also thought this one was interesting -Pirates Open Fire on U.S. Cruise Ship

Apparently, the pirates were in a speed boat and attempted to attack the much larger, faster cruise ship. The cruise ship was able to safely outrun the speed boat.

Now that the element of surprise is pretty much gone, they might want to rethink that plan.

Pirates! I still haven't gotten used to seeing that word in headlines.

RTT -The Check is in the Mail Edition

Let us begin...



My boss forgot to pay me last month.

After a week or so, I decided to call and see what was up. Turns out, they just forgot to process my paycheck.

Clearly, I'm a very valuable employee.

The check is in the mail (so I'm told).

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We took my son to the zoo on Sunday.

He had a great time, but he was pissed when we won't let him ride the animals, especially the zebra.

I have no idea now to explain this concept to a two year old.

Maybe I better hide his cowboy books for a week before the next zoo trip.

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There is a high school up the street from my house.

This means I have shirtless, underage boys running by my house all the time.

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I went to the playground yesterday and there was a toddler girl wearing my exact outfit, just much smaller. (Khaki capris and a dark pink tank top, if you care.)

Even our scandals were a pretty close match.

When I got home, I immediately set the DVR to tape several episodes of What Not to Wear.

I think it might be time to do a little shopping.

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To join in on the random fun, go visit The Un-Mom.

Have a fantastic Tuesday!

Unremarkable Childhood

There are tons of examples of people who did interesting, impressive things during their teenage years.

Christopher Paolini began writing Ergaon at 15.

The youngest women to win a Supporting Actress Oscar wasn't even 11. (Tatum O'Neal for Paper Moon if you're curious.)

The Olympics are the worst. I always feel like the world's biggest slacker after watching them.

(I have fantasies where I forget that I'm uncoordinated and 5'8" and dream that I could have contended for the gymnastics all around gold if I had just been focused.)

When I was a teenager I was learning to drive, thinking about boys and studying. There is nothing particularly remarkable or impressive about how I spent my time.

But then I watch an episode of Barney with my son or hear about the latest child star scandal.

And I realize that unremarkable might not be such a bad thing.

At least there is no publicity available video footage documenting my more awkward stages.

Why Blog?

Jaime at Red, Red Whine has given me a new bloggy award. (There seems to be a wave of award loving going on right now.) Please click the link and tell her I said hello. The "rules" of this particular award ask you to tell the world why you blog. So here goes...

I usually just say that I blog because my brain works full time, even if I don't.

In reality, I started on the path to blogging long before I actually had a blog. From the moment I quit full time work, my internet addition started to slowly develop. First I started checking my email a little too often, then I worked my way up to a Facebook account.

And then my phone died.

I live in a cell phone dead zone (how this is possible a 15 minute drive from DC I do not know) and my land line completely went out. My interaction with other adults plunged to an all time low.

And I had to admit something I had been trying to ignore. I was pretty lonely as a SAHM.

I didn't know many other folks around during the normal work week. My son was still napping twice a day and I was trapped at home quite a bit.

For about two weeks, my only outlet to world was my computer. I started surfing blogs. There were tons of people talking about every topic you could imagine.

And I wanted in on it.

Bottom line, I blog for the interaction and the conversation. It sounds silly to say, but blogging has really improved my attitude about being home. I am much happier now that I am a little more connected to the adult world.

I am truly thankful for my online friends and I love my blog (probably more than I should).

I'd like to pass this award along to two of my blogging buddies-

Kathy B at The World According to Me

Sandee at Comedy Plus

Holey Crap!

My unintentional, ongoing efforts to humiliate myself continue.

I was halfway through a play date and suddenly realized that there was a little extra breeze coming in through the seat of my jeans.

Awesome.

At least the toddlers are too young to see the comic potential of the situation.

But the best part is that I wore these pants to a meeting the night before. And NOBODY mentioned the fact my behind was on display.

So I left the house at least twice showing off the panties. (And frankly, it was probably way more than twice since I hadn't washed my jeans as recently as I should have).

I am so that mom.

I have been knowingly sporting a hole in the knee for the last couple of weeks. I hope nobody mistook the back pocket rip for a purposeful fashion statement.

And I wonder why I don't always fit in with the other moms...

Random Times

Random Thoughts Again?

Yes, that's what we have for blog every Tuesday.



First off, thanks everybody for all the comments last week. There was a little ballot box stuffing going on, but I did indeed break my all time comment record.

I promise to try and return the favors. I also promise to stop whining and talk about something more interesting than how many comments I get.
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If any variation or close relative of the thought "Maybe I should just trim my bangs real fast before the little man wakes up" cruises through your mind - IGNORE IT.

Stop and immediately seek professional help (meaning a hair stylist, of course).

Trust me on this one.
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My son is starting to flex his new vocabulary. Now when he wants something he'll ask "more" and if I tell him no, he'll start trying out all the other words that might work, such as "again", "beginning", "yes", "please" and "help".

He is quite the master negotiator now. All these silly exchanges just crack me up. I love all the toddler power plays.

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Hulk Hogan was recently quoted saying "I totally understand OJ. I get it" in a multiple page spread in Rolling Stone.

Apparently the divorce is not going well. I guess it's not shocking since his soon to be ex-wife is dating a 19 year old.

I think when your rep has to clarify that you were just venting and in no way condone "wife-killing" you're pretty much screwed from a PR standpoint.

But even weirder than his ranting is the fact that Hulk Hogan has a multiple page spread in a magazine in the year 2009. What is going on here?
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I actually get to see the sun during the week and I like it.

I think getting to spend time outside is one of the best perks of the stay at home life.

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Have a great Tuesday everyone!

For a random good time, please visit the Un-Mom.

Snakes On A Plane!

No, not the movie. It's actually worse.

Real live snakes on an actual plane - Missing snakes on plane ground Qantas flight

Apparently twelve baby pythons were packed and shipped on the flight, but only eight were still in the container when they landed.

So gross.

But I think this quote from the article is even more disturbing than lost snakes.

"Our people called in a reptile expert and there was a suggestion that some of the baby pythons had eaten the other pythons because apparently it is not uncommon for baby pythons to eat each other"

They eat each other? It's the stuff of nightmares.

The remaining pythons were weighed to see if they had eaten a heavier snack than peanuts on the flight, but they hadn't.

In the end, they decided to take the plane out of service (thank goodness) and fumigate it.

So there may be snakes on the plane, but at least they are dead. Which is at least marginally better.

Dumping Out My Bucket List

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati, self-proclaimed non-geek, over at Not A Science Geek tagged me to a Bucket List meme.

It's a list of 99 things to do before you die. There are some rules you're supposed to fellow and all that usual jazz.

But I decided to go rogue on this one. (I know...living life right on the edge again.)

I was going to write my own original, creative, funny list and blow the mind of the bloggy world.

It was going to be freakin' fantastic. (Yeah, I know...bit delusional.)

I was all fired up. Then I started writing it a few times. I deleted it a few times. Then I just marinated it in my mind for awhile.

Then I realized the problem was...I just don't have a bucket list.

And I'm totally okay with that.

I'd like to sell my nonexistent novel and earn a well stamped passport as much as the next gal, but at the end of the day it isn't the big stuff that really makes me happy.

I could die happy without winning an Oscar or a Pulitzer, but I would be lost without all those little unexpected moments and the people I love.

I love when my husband surprises me with sappy words (he's not a real big talker normally). And I just love the man in general.

I love sticky toddler kisses and holding chubby little fingers.

I love spending time with my friends (including the bloggy kind).

I love reading good books, listening to music, learning new stuff, eating good food and writing.

So there you go. I'm apparently lame, but at least I'm happy.

If anybody else wants to tackle the bucket list question or do the original meme, let me know and I'll link you up.

RTT - Living on Negative Time

It's Tuesday again. Which is fabulous because it means Monday is over.


Let the randomness begin...

My inlaws arrived on Friday two hours before my husband got home from work and left on Monday two hours after he left.

So the way I see it, we got to spend -4 hours together this weekend, which is every bit as refreshing and relaxing as it sounds.

I can't decide if all the Easter candy is a blessing or a curse. I also can't stop eating it.

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I think I may have figured out why my computer and I have been having so many issues lately.

The word verification "wifie" keeps popping up.

I think I've been calling HIM the wrong gender this whole time. Clearly, we still have some confusion about the nature of our relationship, but at least we seem to be on the right track to working out our problems.
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I keep getting tantalisingly close to 50 comments, but I can't seem to break the barrier. It's totally arbitrary and silly, but this bothers me.
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I grew up in Northern CA and went to college in upstate NY.

This means that I am skilled at overusing both "hella" and "wicked".

Don't be alarmed, I eradicated both from my vocabulary about the time I hit the workforce, but I still kind of miss them.
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That's all I got folks. Happy Tuesday to all of you out there in blog land.

Please visit the Un-Mom for a random good time.

Attack of the Zombie Chicken

Shay has gifted me the coveted Zombie Chicken Award.

I am quite honored because Shay tends an provocative patch of original poetry over at Word Garden that I often visit when I need a little break. She also writes Objets D'art which I find wildly entertaining and impossible to accurately describe.

Here are the rules:
The blogger who receives this award believes in the tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words.

As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…

Well, with a warning like that you can see why I am compelled to pass it along quickly to worthy bloggers.

Here are my picks:
Keely from The Un-Mom (because this award is just perfect for her)
Debbie from Suburb Sanity
Jenners from Life With A Little One and More
Casey from Half as Good as You
Jannie Funster

(FYI - blogger spell checker doesn't recognize the word "tao" or "bloggers". I think this might explain a lot.)

Happy Monday folks!

Cracking the Girl Code

Women made up 9% of my major (mechanical engineering).

When I started working about 5% of my coworkers were female.

This all adds up to a woman who is fairly clueless about the subtler aspects of the female universe.

After two years in the motherhood I think I am finally starting to figure a few things out.

Planning to meet at 10 does not really mean we will meet at 10.

It roughly translates to "don't bother to arrive earlier than 10:15 and even then you'll probably be the first one to arrive".

Turns out few mothers of small children ever arrive anywhere on time. I get it and I understand.

I am just habitually, annoyingly prompt so this one took me awhile. But as they say, when in Rome...

"Errands" is secret girl code for shopping.

For awhile, I was convinced that I must be neglecting something important because I wasn't running nearly as many errands as the other moms.

I have finally realized the only thing I'm neglecting is my wardrobe, which is pretty much a given.

When a woman you barely know invites you to a party at her house, she is probably trying to sell you something.

This may be true even when you know the mom. Be suspicious of all afternoon gatherings, unless you're in the market to buy.

If you need a pick up line for a potential mom friend, it is always safe to compliment her kids.

Compliments on clothing or shoes are also usually acceptable as long as the items in question aren't so bad that it can be construed as sarcasm.

I still have much to learn, but I'm at least improving.

What am I still missing?

Trying Questions

Now that my son has hit two it seems like every person I know is asking if we're trying for a second baby.

It's kind of a funny question if you consider where babies come from.

Bottom line, casual acquaintances are basically asking me if I'm having lots of unprotected sex.

I need to come up with a good, witty non-answer. Any suggestions?

Tuesday Again?

I love random thoughts.

It's pretty much how my brain works all week long, but on Tuesday it's trendy to actually post them.


I have a Jacuzzi bathtub.

If that sounds cool, you've probably never had to clean one.
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Does anybody else get excited about leaving the first comment on a post?

Half the time I write something lame like "yay, first comment" and then realize that the author has the setting for comment approval on and I'm probably more like the 20 comment.

So I've basically discovered a new way to be socially awkward online. Yay me.
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The other day my son was "reading" books aloud to the cat. I found this amusing on many levels. And yes, the cat sat through the whole story.
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My library has self checkouts now.

I get to grab any book I want and just swipe a key chain and leave. Most of the time, I don't even interact with a person.

It totally feels like I'm shoplifting.

And I like it.

Clearly, I need to live life a little closer to the edge if this is my big thrill for the week.
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I hope everyone has had a great start to the week.

For a good time, please visit The Un-Mom, Queen of Random Tuesday Thoughts.

Weekend Update

Mother nature was kind (she must like my dance moves). The weather was decent for the party.

There were eight small people in attendance, including the guest of honor.

Eggs were hunted, burgers were grilled and cupcakes were eaten.

The water table my sister sent was a huge hit. There was lots of splashing and many wardrobe changes.

I think a good time was had by all.

I can't really believe I just threw a two year old birthday party. It really is amazing how quickly the time passes. Everybody tells you, but I didn't really understand until now.

Today was a bit of a recovery day.

We took advantage of the weather and went for a long lazy walk along the Potomac river.

And we saw this....

(I know the photo isn't great, but the bird is an eagle and his nest is enormous.)

All and all, it was a great weekend.

The in laws are visiting next weekend to celebrate Easter and continue the birthday extravaganza.

I think we might hit celebration overload if we're not careful. (At least I might.)

Toddler Invasion

The little man turns two on Monday and we're having a party to celebrate.

A small army of toddlers and their attendants will be descending on my house tomorrow.

The plan is for a post nap cookout and with an early Easter egg hunt for entertainment. I also have a pretty good collection of outdoor toys to help keep the troops out of trouble.

I'm really hoping for good weather. I'm also banking on the fact that two years have short attention spans and are easily entertained.

The party isn't going to be anything fancy, but I'm hoping everyone (especially the guest of honor) will have a good time.

I wasn't really nervous about the whole thing until one of the mom causally mentioned that she has two parties to go to this Saturday. The first one will have 50 guests and a petting zoo.

A freakin' petting zoo...

I'm just not that kind of parent. (I don't even scrap book.)

So wish me luck with my simple little cookout and plastic eggs stuffed with stickers.

Well, I better get busy. I need to bake a cake and perform an elaborate anti-rain dance.

College Prep

Despite my initial doubts, I've realized that college was actually great preparation for my stay at home existence.

Not the classes. I'm not sure I even use those doing my part time paid job.

But the other stuff I learned during college sure comes in handy.

Just think about it...

-Finding cheap food

-Living in filth without losing your mind

-Surviving sleep deprivation

-Negotiating with irrational people

-Dealing with monster mood swings and unexpected tears (Have I mentioned I was in a sorority?)

-Holding back hair while somebody pukes

-Removing shoes and clothing from people unable to perform basic functions for themselves

(Am I the only one who notices how much toddlers act like someone under the influence? Or maybe I should say, anybody else notice how much drunk people act like toddlers?)

I don't know what the rest of you did with your four years, but I'm certainly putting what I learned to use.