Balancing Act

I breastfed during a conference call last week while typing with one hand.

(The call was with my co-workers who aren't alarmed if they hear a kid in the background. I would never try such a feat with clients.)

I usually spend nap time frantically working, but adding a baby to the equation has changed things a bit.

(Am I the only who finds themselves literally balancing motherhood and work?)

Taking two months maternity leave made me realize a few things.

First, money is good. We could survive on just my husband's income, but my small contribution means we don't have to think quite so hard about the bottom line. It covers preschool, swim lessons and the little extras.

I also like the sense of accomplishment. It feels good to get something checked off the to do list that actually stays done. It's a nice change from from repeatedly cleaning floors that instantly get filthy and picking up the same toys ten times a day.

Also, if I don't use it...I loose it. It's amazing how quickly my skills just evaporate. Two months not working and I felt like I was chiseling through a thick layer of brain rust.

But most important, I think it's also healthy for me to be reminded what it's like to actually work. When I first quit my full time job, I completely lost my perspective.

I indulged in elaborate work fantasies that involved stylishly dressed, friendly co-workers and pristine offices. I focused on all the lunches out, happy hours and high heels, but conveniently brain dumped all the slightly evil coworkers, never ending pointless meetings and bosses with untreated ADD.

Not to leave you with the impression that my part time job is a bad job. It's not. But it is work.

When I'm having a bad day in the motherhood, it's good to remember that there are horrible days in the office too.

And in my experience, the good days home with the kiddos are better than any day at the office, dirt and chaos included.

I think I've finally found the balance that works for me and it feels good.

My Princess

My son "shared" his recent head cold with the baby.

So I ended up at the doctor's yesterday with a snotty, coughing six week old.

(My son never got sick until he was 9 months old. Apparently, having a germy older sibling is a game changer and we'll be visiting the doctor a lot this year.)

The doctor put Audrey on her belly to listen to her lungs. She was naked, cold, tired and at the end of her patience.

She lifted her head up, looked the doctor straight in the face and let out the most amazing war cry I've ever heard.

She's let me have a few times at home, but this was unlike any baby cry I've ever heard.

Her little tongue was wagging up and down, her entire body turned red and the sheer volume was shocking.

It was clear that she was pissed. And it was clear she was pissed at the doctor.

Pretty much from birth, she has known (and let us know) what she likes and dislikes. She is much more alert and opinionated than her brother was at the same age.

She is definitely a bit of princess.

Not a princess like the ones in a Disney movie, but one more along the lines of Xena the Warrior Princess.

She certainly has the crazy war cry down already.

Glad It Wasn't Me

I'm a bit clumsy, but I've never even considered this a possibility- Visitor Loses Balance, Damages Picasso Work

Some unfortunate person tripped and ripped a six inch hold in a hundred year old Picasso.

Remind me not to take the two year old to a museum unless the paintings are covered by bullet proof glass.

Apparently an elementary school teacher sent her students home with a class memories DVD that accidentally included six seconds of herself having sex. -Students get X-rated Surprise in Class DVD

How does that even happen? I've sent emails to the wrong person and I misspell stuff constantly, but how do you accidentally include a bit of sex tape?

I'm sure there is a important life lesson buried somewhere in this, just probably not the one she was intending to teach.

This is one idea that I'm glad I didn't have - Spice Girls Musical On the Way

I'm pretty sure ABBA should be offended by this copycat.

And last but not least, I'm glad I'm not on The Bachelor (or really any reality show).

The level of delusion among the ladies is almost mind boggling.

I'm not sure how much is just clever editing, but the drama is out of control.

I wouldn't want the world to see me only in my most desperate and petty moment.

Not to mention the whole getting dumped on national TV..that probably sucks too.

So while I might make an ass of myself fairly often, at least it isn't televised and I haven't done anything that made it in the news...at least not yet.

Company Detox

Our visitors left yesterday.

It was a good visit. But I'm looking forward to a break from company, even good company.

A fun time was had by all (at least that's what they said).

My nephew is only 11 months older than my son so the little guys joyfully ran circles around the rest of us.

But my son definitely hit his limit Saturday night. It's been a little ugly. I figure he'll settle down in a few days as long as we both survive that long.

It isn't helping that my son figured out this weekend that I've been holding out on him when it comes to junk food. I'm pretty sure he's still holding a grudge because I wouldn't let him eat Coca Pebbles for breakfast yesterday when my nephew had some.

If nothing else, this weekend established that my older sister is a cooler mom than I am. Not that was much doubt, she has always been cooler in general.

She is a massage therapist and I'm an engineer. That pretty tells you a lot about our personalities (and parenting styles). I've always kind of taken it for granted, but we get along remarkable well for being so different.

So while it's been fun visiting with everyone, but it's time to figure out what normal life is like as a family of four.

I'm ready to start wrangling the kiddos solo...at least I hope I am!

Hope you all had a great weekend.

The Circus Is Coming to Town...

And by circus, I mean our family.

So it will be the big three ring kind. Loud, fun and overwhelming to the senses.

My husband's little brother arrived yesterday.

He's young, single, and likes to sleep in.

(I kinda hate anybody who sleeps in right now. It's not personal...totally irrational sleep deprivation is taking over my body at this point.)

He leaves tomorrow.

Then on Wednesday my mom and sister arrive for 4 days.

My 14 year old niece is coming along. And my 3 year old nephew.

So we'll have a house full. And our house isn't particularly big.

(Am I the only one who finds themselves morphing into a whiny 13 year old around their family? Does this ever stop?)

I know the little man is going to love playing with his cousin and I know we'll have a great time.

But I also know my limitations.

I'm not as flexible as I should be. I'm going to do my best to bend and not break down this week.

The plan is to just enjoy these visits with family and let the little things slide.

(Nobody cares how clean my floors are at this point, right?)

Wish me luck.

Near Miss of Epic Proportions

I need to write a few checks to charity or find a couple of old ladies to help cross the street because I'm pretty sure I used up every good karma point I've earned yesterday.

The baby was sleeping and the little man was playing happily in his room.

I decided to make a quick dash to the outside trash can to take out the overflowing stinky diapers.

(Can you guess where I'm going with this?)

I was gone for about a minute and a half...tops.

I grabbed the door knob and it doesn't budge. I frantically try it again.

Locked. (Apparently, my son has mastered a new skill.)

No keys, no phone, no neighbors home..Plenty of panic.

As calmly as I could, I knocked on the door. My son came running.

"Love bug, can you unlock the door please?"

And thank the stars above, he did it.

I honestly have no idea what I would have done if he hadn't unlocked it. The year is brand new and I'm already out of the running for Mother of the Year.

I'm just lucky that he is in that sweet spot of development where he is old enough to understand the request, but too young to grasp the comedic potential of the situation.

Next time, I'll be bringing the keys with me.

Or better yet, I might just let the husband deal with the trash when he gets home.

Baby Steps

I ran my first errand with both kiddos today.

We went to Target to return something and bought a few essentials.

This might not sound impressive, but it feels like a major milestone to me.

There were no nuclear meltdowns, no major drama and all limbs are still attached.

The baby might have gotten poked a few times by her big brother, but she didn't seem to mind so I'm declaring victory.

This is my first week on my own, outnumbered by children. It hasn't been easy, but it's been a heck of a lot better than I feared.

Audrey is four weeks old now. Thankfully, she is a relatively laid back baby. She's an alert, content little lady and is quickly growing some impressive thigh rolls.

I think she is pretty prefect.

And as a bonus, the last two nights she went over four hours between feedings. Again, this probably doesn't sound impressive, but after nursing every two to three hours around the clock for the last four weeks it was a major step.

The zombie fog that has settled in my brain is starting to clear a little. (And I'm wearing pants with a zipper! Sorry - just needed to share that.)

The little man continues to be an awesome big brother. He continues to love the baby and really hasn't gotten jealous. He's a bit overly helpful at times, but that was pretty much his style long before he became a big brother.

I think it would be too bold to say I've got my groove back, but at least I can hear the music again.

Hopefully, I'll feel up to joining the dance again in a few weeks.

The Big 3-0

Today is my 30th birthday.

Funny how 30 seems so old when you're a kid and yet you really don't feel particularly old when you actually hit the milestone.

I was kinda freaked out when I turned 29, but this year I'm ready for it. I can totally handle turning 30.

I've survived my first ER trip as a parent.

I have faced the terror of maternity clothes and navigated the dark mysteries of the nursing bra.

I've made a tentative peace with my career suicide.

I've somewhat successfully dealt with sickness, fits, poop and everything else my two year has thrown at me.

My body has already gone through the frightening changes that come with bearing two children.

Turning 30 doesn't scare me at this point. (And really, who has the time to worry about a little thing like a birthday with a newborn?)

At least my birthday means I get cake (one that my lovely husband baked for me) and presents.

So 30's here I come. I hope you're ready for me because I've got big plans for you.

Newborn Mysteries

This is not my first rodeo. I've done this newborn thing once before.

I thought that I might have some clue what I'm doing this round.

But somehow I found myself in the position of calling the advice nurse at my pediatrician to ask about poo.

Once upon a time I used to brief important people about important things. Now when I say I've had a crappy day, I may actually mean that literally.

Thank goodness for washing machines and disposable diapers. And hand soap. I should probably buy stock in hand soap at this point.

Anyway, moving on...

My three week old daughter hadn't pooped in two days. Digging through the murky memories of my son's earliest days, I seem to recall that he pooped non-stop. (So far my daughter continues to make it clear that she is a completely different kid in just about every way possible.)

Sleep deprived, new mom paranoia set in.

So I called the advice nurse to ask if this state of affairs was something to worry about.

And I learned something amazing.

Apparently, breast fed babies can go up to six days without pooping and it's "normal".

Six days...

I wouldn't want to change that diaper.

A Happy New Year

Happy New Year Everyone!

This time of year always make me reflect a bit on my life and this year with all the changes going on it seems especially relevant.

I am now the mother of two (which somehow seems much more serious than the mother of one) and I'll turn 30 in two weeks.

I keep seeing articles that talk about how the world has changed in the last decade. It just makes me laugh because my world is hardly even recognizable.

Ten years ago, I was about to turn twenty. I was a broke, stressed out college student. I couldn't even legally drink. My biggest crisis was the C I got my sophomore year in college.

I just KNEW what I wanted to do with myself, which was climb the corporate ladder as quickly as possible. And make lots of money, of course.

I had life all figured out. I never even changed my major.

Now, ten years later. My life doesn't look anything like I would have predicted. I wasn't even planning to even think about getting married until I was 30.

Now I have a husband (of nearly 6 years), a mortgage, two kids, a very part time job with a three digit monthly paycheck, an 8 year old car and a couple of cats.

I can't even remember the last time I had an alcoholic beverage and or was out past midnight.

I'm pretty sure my 20 year old self would be horrified.

The younger me was awfully dumb.

I do wonder about the "might have beens" and the "what ifs", but when the chips are down, I wouldn't change a thing.

This year, I'm skipping all the usual resolutions. I'm not ready to even think about weight yet (I'm just trying not to look at my pudgy postpartum self in the mirror too closely). And I honestly don't have the energy or time to embark on any major self improvement ventures right now.

My goal for the year: To just be happy. I am going to try to live in the moment more and just enjoy my life as much as possible.

I waste far too much time over thinking things and worrying about the roads not taken. I feel guilty that I'm not using my education more, even though I'm not sure why.

I'm going to do my best to quit this habit cold turkey.

I'm sure that the transition to two little ones will have a few rough spots, but I'm doing to do my best to just laugh at my kids antics and just have fun with the wild little people I created.

Maybe next year I'll start worrying about jobs and careers again, but this year I'm taking a time out from the topic.

I hope this is the start of a fabulous, productive New Year for all of you.