Can I ask you a question? Are you happy?
And I don't really mean in a right now, this instant kind of a way, but in a fundamental general sense - Are you happy with your life?
Lately, it feels like everybody I come into contact with seems discontent. (FYI- This excludes my immediate family, my husband is a generally cheerful guy and the kids are silly, ridiculous little people.)
But it seems that most of the moms (both random ones and my friends) I have chatted with recently seem blue. My facebook home page is a strange list of vaguely angry status updates about misbehaving children and bitter political statements.
Is this just me? Am I hanging out at the wrong parks? Or is the world, especially the mommyhood full of unhappy people? Are we housewives really desperate?
I totally get having a bad day. I have definitely had some days that are crappy, sometimes literally. But I've been getting the sense that for some of the people I've been encountering it goes deeper than that.
As for myself, I am happy. I freely acknowledge that this mommy gig is freaking hard work, but I don't want to be doing anything else. I have bad days. I lose my temper sometimes, probably more than I should. But I'm truly grateful for my husband, my children and my life, even if there are occasional blurry moments in the big picture.
Bottom line, the negatively is starting to get to me. It's making it hard to keep things in perspective and I feel like I'm starting to have more negative thoughts because I'm hearing more negative thoughts (does that make sense to anybody else?).
What I think is it's time to up the positive in my life, but I'm not exactly sure how.
What do you do when you feel a case of the blues threatening to attack?
Do you have any suggestions? Where do the happy moms hang out? Are there any fun, uplifting blogs or websites you can recommend?
I've tried listening to fun music and jump starting my workout routine, both of which have been a success. I've also reached out to a couple of moms I know who are generally uplifting people to be around with mixed success, summer always seems a tricky time to meet up.
Am I missing something?
11 comments:
Sorry you're running into so much negativity! I've had some similar thoughts lately... At one point I came to the conclusion that being that way is the new "thing" in mommyhood. It's what all the cool kids are doing, you know? You hear a lot more people complaining about their life as a mom than you do people who are enjoying it. It's the norm for the new generation of moms.
But...I'm with you. This is hard, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I like to poke fun at myself and my journey as a mom. I can be sarcastic and cynical about it sometimes, but I hope I give people the overall impression that I like what I'm doing.
Yes, I am happy! I love my life, my husband, my daughter, my JOB. I don't think I could have said that 15 years ago when I was just out of high school and wandering around life not knowing what to do with myself, but after college and marriage, everything just kind of fell into place.
My friends and family all want a "John" for themselves, knowing how happy I am. Maybe that's why I don't use my blog to complain about my life. I have no complaints! :-)
I am mostly happy ..with occasional bad days. Nothing that a nap or an early bedtime usually doesn't cure. The more tired I am, the most negative I am.
There are a lot of negative people out there...and you know what they say "misery loves company." I just try to limit my interaction with those types of people. When I was younger I would put up with it...but now I don't have enough time! :)
I'm glad you enjoy your life, you're probably a blast to be around!
I definitely tend to limit my time around negative people.
isn't it crazy how a few (or more!) bad moods from others can get us down?! it is so easy to be sucked in... and so hard to keep your chin up and press on when your smile is returned with a groan. we all have our days (weeks, etc...) but as for me, i'm happy :) this life is what I dreamed, although there are so many parts that i never dreamed (how hard being a mama is!) hang in there... and know that your smile is being returned from the sunshine state!!!
I think a lot of it is the economy. The uncertainty of what is going to happen next. The unemployment issue. People that had jobs for years are finding themselves out of a job. It's making most folks edgy. That's what I'm seeing.
Have a terrific day. :)
i'm not a good one to ask. I try hard to be happy. really. i like happy. and positive. I'm working on it.
YES!!! I agree with you. There's tons of negativity out there and sadly some people seem to thrive on it.
I've recently decided not to spend any more time with one group of Moms here because they're not fun. They're always bitching about how overworked and overstressed they are and it irritates me. Plus, they're hyper competitive with the snacks they bring to the parks and such! You'd think I was giving my kid meth when I pull out a snack trap of just goldfish. I sought out another Mom who also happens to be on maternity leave; she is way chiller and more fun, but we also have more in common.
Perhaps you need to find other women who are more similar to you-- women who had exciting careers and chose completely of their own volition to take a step away for a while. They might be more secure with their choices/options and therefore generally happy.
nice weather helps enormously - being outside in the sun, getting dirty in the garden.
i'm mostly happy. i think. :)
My happiness is directly related to my kids sleep and behavior. When their food/environmental allergies get out of control, they fight constantly and are aggressive/defiant and barely sleep. Those stretches do not make me happy. Otherwise, everything's peaches. :)
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