Preschool Progress

The principal visit on Tuesday appears to have been rock bottom and things are looking up around here. According to both the teacher and my little man, the last two days went much better. Stickers were earned and everybody is happy.
(Thank goodness. I’m not cut out for the role of prison warden.)

I’m not sure what turned the tide of naughtiness. It definitely helps that J is making friends with his classmates. This morning, he held the hand of a little girl in his class and stared at her adoringly so maybe a new crush is inspiring his good behavior. (His love interest from last year is in the other pre-K class. It appears to have been a relationship of convenience that isn’t weathering the long distance well.)

I’m not sure it helps, but I’ve been trying to make the mornings as low stress as possible. I’ve started everything a bit earlier so that there is no rushing. I’ve been trying really hard to pick my battles and send him off to school in a good mood with a full belly.

I’m also trying to get a little more silliness back in our routine. My little man has always responded better to games and jokes and that sort of thing rather than straight out demands. For example, “Please get into the car” is met with resistance, but “Let’s race to the car” gets him into his car seat without a fuss nearly every time. It’s always a struggle to be creative with parenting, especially with the stress is on, but I’m working on it.

Despite my attempts to "fix" the problem, I'm pretty sure that time had more to do with it than anything.  This is only his second full week of preschool and I think he just needed a little time to get used to everything.

So for this moment, the crisis appears to over.  I'm not ready to call it a victory just yet, but at least we're back in the game.

The Principal Problem

Did you know that you can get sent to the principal in preschool?

Well, apparently you can and it took my son less than two weeks to figure out how to accomplish this feat. Bet you’re jealous because my kid is so advanced!

I was hoping this was a milestone we could avoid…you know, to at least kindergarten.

Our transition to a five morning a week prekindergarten preschool class has been rocky to say the least. (He went three mornings a week last year so we added two extra mornings this year– which is standard operating procedure around these parts. )

My son has always been an active, stereotypical boy, but he has never been aggressive. Well, check that, he has never BEFORE been aggressive. This morning he hit a couple of kids on the playground and then kicked somebody at snack time.

Honestly, I’m really frustrated and not sure what to do.

We talk and talk and talk about this stuff. I take away privileges, I give time outs, I take away toys…I really am trying here. My little man hasn’t watched TV in a week and there have been very few treats of any kind around here. I try my best to balance out the negative with lots of positive reinforcement, hugs and kisses and all that good stuff.

Despite the substantial evidence to the contrary, he hasn’t been raised by wolves. He has a mother who cares and who is busting her behind.

I think we could all do with a time out this week.

Settled, Down not For

There is an important difference between settling down and settling for something. That distinction seems to get lost sometimes.

It doesn't matter whether you are a working mom, a stay at home type or a some hybrid in the middle, there is a lot of negativity dumped on mothers. Books, TV shows, movies, even stories in the news are full of  tales of unhappy, bitter woman trapped by their choices.

I’m sick of the frazzled, unhappy, frumpy mom stereotypes.  They make me mad, but more than that I think they are dangerous.  If you hear something enough times, it can start to sound like the truth.

So I just want to state once and for all that I may have settle down, but I didn’t settle. I choose this life. And I am happy, damn it.

Did I “give up” my full time career and a bunch of my personal freedom? Sure I did, but the rest of the question should be what did I get in return. I got a family that I adore. I get the wonderful privilege of raising two fascinating little people. I don’t see this deal as a sacrifice; I see it as the bargain.

Of course, marriage, even without children, requires that people give up a certain things. I’m sure there are exceptions, but most married folks can’t get drunk and kiss a stranger without consequences. You can’t be totally selfish and you should probably consider your mate in major life decisions. You might have to share the remote or allow your mate to decorate your basement with Steelers propaganda. But at the end of the day, I want to be tucked in next to my man. The pros aren't even in the same ball park as the cons.

I feel the same way about my kids. There are days when I just want to use the bathroom by myself. There are days when I’m desperately in need of reinforcements by the time my husband comes home. But I would never, never trade this chaotic life for anything.

I love being a mom. I love eating homemade dinners at our table. I love mornings at the park and long stroller walks. I love holding a chubby little hand.  I love sharing my life with the one man who really and truly knows me and loves me anyway.

It’s true that I’m about as settled as one can be. I’ve got a couple of kids, a husband, a large mortgage and a minivan. But I’ve in no way settled. My life is so much larger than I ever dreamed it would be.

And I don't think I'm alone.  I think we desperately need to build a more supportive world for women and a good first step would be to banish all the bitter stereotypes.

Excuse the Mess!

Please excuse any messes you might find around here right now.

I'm changing my template because...well because I can.  I just love that my blog can get a new outfit for free!

I'm tired of reading white letters on a dark background so I thought I'd try something simple and easy on the eyes. Please let me know what you think.  If the new look loads slowly or is annoying in anyway, please tell me and I'll do my best to fit it.

So sorry if I've left any stray widgets laying around the joint.  I'll do my best to have the place cleaned up in a jiff.

P.S.  Am I the only one who finds it nearly impossible to write an "About Me" summary?  It's more stressful than being asked what I do for a living or what my hobbies are.  I've been searching for the right tag line for years now so it's just been blank until now.  Again, any suggestions are welcome.

Hopefully Unanswered Prayers

Said wilth all sincerity by my son at the breakfast table - "Dear God, please send me a baby.  A boy baby.  Mommy can grow it in her belly.  We really need another baby, please. Amen" .  His chubby boy hands were folded and his eye were closed.

(At this exact moment, my almost two year old daughter shrieks like Xena the Warrior Princess and hurls her bowl of oatmeal at me.  I'm pretty sure it's a sign, but I'm not exactly sure what it means.)

Me- "J buddy, I don't think Mommy and Daddy are going to have any more babies.  We're very lucky to have you and Audrey, but I think our family is complete."

J - "But Mom, I'll take care of it!  I'll carry it up the stairs and everything." (I still not sure what to make of the stairs offer.)

Me - "I'm sorry Lovebug, but I don't think we're going to have any more babies.  When you're a grown up and have a nice wife, you can have as many babies as you want."

At this point, J laughs like this is hilarious and finally starts eating his food. I'm confident we'll be revisiting this topic soon.

This marks the third time in the last week he has campaigned for another baby.  Apparently he's tired of asking me and is now directing his request to the management.

So just in case any higher powers read my blog, please don't send me any more babies! I love the ones I got, but my hands are literally full of children at the moment. 

In exchange, I promise I'll keep my 4 year old from carrying any babies up the stairs!  I also promise to be the best mommy I can be to the two I've got, but I'm pretty sure my quality of parenting will plummet with any new additions.

The Books That Changed Me

I’m a reader. It’s been a fundamental part of me for as long as I can remember. I’ve become slightly more selective of what I’ll read in recent years because I have limited time, but I’m pretty willing to read just about any subject.

Anyway, I just finished a pretty intriguing book call Incognito, The Secret Lives of the Brain by David Eagleman. That may sound dry or boring, but it really isn’t. It is definitely good brain food. It’s very thought provoking and filled with fascinating information.  Even if you're not generally a non-fiction reader, I think it’s worth a look.

This is the first really good book I’ve read in a while and it made me start thinking about the best books I’ve ever read. I define “really good read” as a book that I think about long after I finish it. One that sticks in your mind. The kind of book that changes the way you look at the world and forces you out of your comfort zone.

Here are some of my favorites-
The Foundation series by Isaac Asimov
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (and pretty much anything she writes)
I’ve always loved the silliness of Douglas Adam’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy
I still find Brave New World and 1984 to be thought provoking
I haven’t read it since high school, but Z for Zachariah still haunts me

My favorite recent fiction read is The Hunger Games trilogy. I read it last spring and I still chew it over in my mind regularly.  Recent non-fiction favorites are Freakonomics and Outliers.

And it might sound strange, but I think Shel Silverstein’s The Missing Piece Meets the Big O is a profound, if simple work. I love Shel Silverstein’s work in general. I also think Dr. Suess slipped some very insightful children’s books into his career.

So now that I’ve rediscovered the power of a really great read, I need more. What are the best, most thought provoking books you have ever read?

Tis The Season

It’s that time of year again. Couches across America will be getting fresh butt prints as people embrace the joys of football season.

It’s one of those things I just don’t really get.

To be fair, my husband has a very reasonable football habit. He watches the Steelers when their on in our area (which isn’t that often since we live near DC) and one of the summary shows on ESPN on Sunday nights. He’s not ridiculous about it; it’s just that my life would still feel complete if I never watched ESPN again.

We only have one TV with cable in our house, which I’m good with. I like TV, but believe moderation is key. I can think of more exciting things to do in the bedroom than watch a movie and I’m a big believer in forcing my kids to entertain themselves without a screen. (My son has already informed me that I’m the meanest mommy in the world.)

So all this adds up to quite a few nights that I’ll need to entertainment myself without changing the channel, blocking the TV or trying to talk to my husband. I’m thinking this is actually a positive thing (again…in moderation, too many nights married to a football zombie would be unfortunate). I’ve been plopping in front of the TV more nights than I care to admit this summer and it’s time to shake things up a bit.

I’m hoping to blog a bit more (since the summer was pretty much a blog free zone) and read a few more books. Now that my wild little man is back in preschool, I feel like I’ll have a bit more energy at the end of the day. We’ll see how the reality works out, but at this moment motivation is high.

How about the rest of you? Are you football lovers or haters? Does the fall mean a season of football widowhood or is your house a NFL free zone? Or are you cheering louder than your mate?

How To Avoid Being Room Mother

I accidentally stumbled upon something brilliant.  I think I've discovered the secret to avoiding being a room mother for the rest my life!

Just send your kid to his first day of school with his shoes on the wrong foot. It's a simple solution, but I think it effectively communicates a certain lack of competence and togetherness a teacher probably looks in a room mother.

If you're really committed to the cause, I'd recommend forgeting something once in awhile.  Forget the school bag or class snacks and you should be home free from any additional responsibilities.

Oh and I'm not sure I can teacher this one to anybody else, but I also have mastered the skills to avoid ever being asked to photograph anything...ever.

If you don't believe me after that masterpiece of a first school day photo above - check this one out.

I'm thinking I should cross out photographer on my list of potential careers.

Happy back to school to all!