From the Mom of THAT Kid

It’s a clique to say that I was a better parent before I had kids, but that doesn't make it less true.  It’s also true that I was more judgmental towards parents before I had my own wild minions to tame.

Don’t worry, karma came into play.  Parenting my son has been a very humbling experience.  I’m well acquainted with my kid being “THAT kid” and dirty looks from other moms.

Not to imply he’s a terrible kid, because he’s not.  At home he can be a pleasure to be around.  He sits still long enough to do puzzles and crafts.  He’s free with the hugs and kisses and he’s really pretty nice to his little sister. 

But..(and this is a BIG but) he can pretty hard to handle outside our home.  If he’s around a lot of other kids, he morphs into a human ping pong ball and starts bouncing off the walls.  I’ve already gotten several emails from his preschool teacher this year and see a few more in my future.  Basically, my little man is a living embodiment of busy boy stereotypes.  I'm pretty much been chasing him since he started rolling around the house at 5 months.

Becoming a mom was definitely a life lesson.  Baby number two has been eye opening as well.  My daughter is busy and talkative like her brother, but frankly it’s a whole different and much easier game at this point.  Her bad behavior just isn’t even in the same league as my son.  She’s the kind of kid who basically parents herself. 

Please don’t get the impression I’m playing favorites because I’m not. I adore them both.  I’m also pretty sure that they will swap roles at some point.  My daughter is already displaying trace amounts of sassy behaviors that make me slightly dread her teenage years.  Time as also mellowed my son quite a bit.  Botton line, I wouldn’t change either of them for anything in the world because they are both pretty wonderful, if exhausting.  But yeah, disclaimers aside, my son has been more challenging thus far.

I feel a bit like my parenting experience has been like joining the Marines.  I was broken down before I was built back up.  I spent years convinced that my son’s wild behavior and picky eating were my fault.  Then I had my daughter.  I haven’t consciously done anything differently and she magically eats pretty much anything and generally stays out of mischief. 

I definitely cut myself a little more slack these days.  It’s kind of humbling to realize how very little I had to do with my kids personalities beyond the genetics.  I know that nurture matters, but nature is a major role player in the whole thing.  

If I had my daughter first, I think I would be under the delusion that I totally rock at this mothering thing.  I’m not proud of it, but I’m pretty confident that I would have been one of the moms smugly dishing out the dirty looks.  I think it’s a very good thing that my son was my first born.  I still can’t get my son to eat many vegetables, but I feel like I’ve come a lot way on my parenting journey.

I guess what I really want to say is that we should all really think twice before judging another mother.  I can certainly vouch that some kids are just more challenging to raise than others.  So if everything happens to be going perfectly smoothly in your house, be thankful, but don’t be cocky.  You never know what your next baby might be like or even what your child might be like at a later stage.